In which people continue to be The Worst

This month has seen quite a lot of activity in the world of Sam.  From NYCC to the launch of Waypoints (and its related live events) it's been a good time.  Well....mostly.  What this month has also been is possibly one of the worst bouts of entitlement and bad behaviour towards him that I have seen in all my time in this fandom.  Now no one does entitlement like the Outlander fandom, but by god did that all get turned up to 11 this month.  Let's start at the start - 

For the first time, NYCC were offering different tiers of packages for Sam, much like the smaller fan conventions do.  Yay to anyone who could afford to go, from what I saw it looked like an amazing time was had by all.  Or not quite all.  Because it also became clear that some of those who paid their money seemed to be labouring under the misapprehension that this entitled them to do whatever the fuck they wanted to and with Sam - and were not shy in kicking off when they couldn't do it.  I never read the small print but I am going to assume that at no point did it say 'buying this ticket entitles you to treat Sam like a piece of meat and do whatever you like to him'  

Oh but I'm forgetting - just before NYCC came the announcement that Sam would be doing an extra, clearly last minute, Waypoints event in NY for the US fans to attend.  Great huh?  Hahaha oh my sweet summer child.  Nope.  This gesture, squeezing an event into an also over stuffed schedule was met by some as if he had personally cancelled their pre-orders of the book, torn up their tickets to the Edinburgh and London shows and scooped out their eyes so that they may never actually read the words he had lain down on paper.  No, it didn't mean the other shows where cancelled.  It didn't mean that the release date was changing (only those attending the 92Y event got early copies).  It didn't mean he cared any less for any other group of fans.  Except you'd never know it.

(And don't even get me started on how people seemed to have an issue with the gay Asian guy moderating the interview.  In shocking news, no one seems to have had a single issue with the two white straight guys doing the UK shows....but I digress)

Now Waypoints is here!  And it's an amazing read.  I started following Sam, Caitriona and the show on Twitter in 2014 and I don't think I have ever known him be so open about anything.  I knew that his father had died, and that he hadn't had a relationship with him but none of the details.  I am so glad that Sam felt he was in a place where he could finally put some of these ghosts to rest, recognise how his father's absence has shaped him, try to not make the same mistakes, and maybe find some peace of mind.  Some of his other little revelations (taking magic mushrooms - Samwise, you naughty boy!) made me laugh and his honesty about how his career has not been an easy one, but perseverance pays off made me applaud him.  

Several things, however, have struck me as parts that people could do well with giving them a once over because I don't think that they've really grasped what he's trying to say.

Sam writes about fan interactions, how they can be nice and it's not a bother most of the time to take a selfie or whatnot.  He also writes that he hates to disappoint.  He also also writes about privacy and how difficult it is to navigate that now he's found a measure of fame.  All things that people reading should maybe take a moment to reflect on.

So imagine our surprise when just the other day a fan pic pops up on Instagram under Sam's tag.  Lovely.  And then the video.  The video taken by said fan, of Sam, walking the streets of London, unaware that he's being filmed.  Literally stalking Sam as he goes about his business. Of course there was justifiable outrage over this.  Because he's actually being stalked.  Every right thinking person would be outraged right?  WRONG.  Let me paraphrase some stuff - 

'Oh I'd do the same if I could' (well done for admitting you would stalk someone)

'It's fine, he's in public! It's not like it was taken in private place or anything!!' (okay so you get filmed by someone you don't know in public and let me know how fine you feel then)

'God she waited until he got off the phone before asking for a selfie!!' (so she stalked him then just hung around until he was done with his business.  That's still not good)

'He knows the deal if he goes outside' (Stop going outside Sam...)

'What does he expect if he's going to walk around dressed like that' (I bet they'd ask women what they were wearing when they were raped too)

'She just got over excited when she saw him' (yeah I often stalk someone for many streets when I get excited...)

The fan ('fan') was entirely unrepentant - we who complained are just jealous.  No we're mad because you STALKED HIM.  Pointing out that she stalked him is now bullying.  Really?  'You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means'.  

Sam has already said how himself and his family and friends have been sent threats.  By refusing to condemn the actions of this person, people are actively ignoring this.  It emboldens others to do the same and next time someone might not just want a selfie.  The 'obsessed fan who does something to harm their idol' isn't just something made up for tv...

The other thing that people have wildy missed the point on is Sam talking about filming the Wentworth scenes for 'To Ransom A Man's Soul'  He filmed, it transpires, full frontal scenes but pushed back on them being included as it would have sexualised what was happening to Jamie in that moment.  He felt betrayed by production and has spoken at length about how those scenes wouldn't be filmed like that now and how important the introduction of an intimacy coordinator has been.

So you'd think people would be on Sam's side over this right?  Hahaha oh no wrong again.  

'Why didn't they leave it in?'

'Tobias was fully naked and he never complained'

'Sam did other nude scenes why did he want this taken out?'

Clearly people have forgotten that both times Tobias' Black Jack Randell is seen with his penis out, it is when he is about to try and rape someone or after he has done so.  He is the one in the position of power.  Jamie, in Wentworth, most definitely is not.  Also consider this - when have you ever seen a screenshot or gif of Tobias from either of those moments?  Literally everything gets giffed from this show but I would bet you never have.  

Now do you think you could say the same if those full frontal scenes of Sam were still in the show?  Do you think people could have stopped themselves from screencapping them even though Jamie was going through some of the most unimageable horrors?  That episode is already treated by some as just another way to admire Sam's body ('he's gorgeous no matter what's happening to him' I've seen one person write).  We all know how some still cannot grasp how the scene with Jamie and Geneva is a rape scene.  The fact that some are even struggling to do so with the Wentworth scenes makes me despair.  There is nothing that using that full frontal of Sam could have added to make the scenes more horrific - but it would have been incredibly damaging because entirely too many people wouldn't be able to see past the fact that they got to see Sam's penis to appreciate and understand what Jamie is going through in that moment.  It isn't a time for titillation. And it's worrying that so many are unable to see that or to understand why Sam wouldn't want that included.  

I wish that these people would go back and read Waypoints again and really understand.  Sam has gifted us something we actually don't really deserve.  He's given us an insight into who he is, his vulnerabilities, his fears, his fuck ups, his hopes.  As I said, I've not known him be so open before and maybe he won't ever be again, but the fact that so many are still disregarding his words and still seem unable to actually realise he is a human being with hurts and flaws and feelings and dreams is worrying.  You call yourselves his fans and yet you don't care about the actual person he is at all.